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  • Dr. Stefan

November 14th-15th, 2021

Pea’hi, Maui, Hawai’i

During the course of an Akashic Records Training practice session, I had the great good fortune of being paired with someone who was both incredibly intelligent and extraordinarily sensitive and attuned.

I immediately felt both her energy and the power she embodied flooding through me. She was totally radiant. After we had done some shared breathing, I found myself telling her of my lifelong dissociation from both my own body and the Planet Earth. Accompanying these was my feeling of lacking purpose despite all the incredible experiences I have lived and about which I have written extensively in my mystery series (Book VIII is in the process of being in press).

In this session, I became aware of being connected to a lineage of individuals like a series of bright lights stretching through all space and time into eternity, illuminated from within and standing bright among the great crowd of far less bright “bulbs” in a great string stretching from chaos to cosmos. I felt it. I knew immediately that I belonged to this august group, who have gone by various names in different time epochs. Although not exactly comprehensive, “The New Group of World Servers” as named by Alice A. Bailey and the Theosophist a hundred or more years ago, I recognized the totality of these individuals as being, in some sense, what Native people call “Wisdom Keepers,” holding deeply and keeping alive within themselves, the larger truth that supersedes all of the temporary and transient beliefs of thousand generations devoted to material acquisition and greed-based cultures. They keep alive the awareness of the collective totality of humanity and All Nature, each and everyone’s ultimate residence in sovereignty and oneness forever, despite the innumerable journeys through different forms and manifestations.

And I knew love—scintillating, bounteous, all-embracing soul-searing and joyous. I felt like I really belonged, worthy, wanted and necessary. That which had skirted the edges of my consciousness for decades had suddenly opened in the very center of me and took up residence as an identity and guiding force—not something to be sought any longer outside of my own pristine self in the form of women, riches or attainments—attempting to fill myself from the outside of all that had seemed denied me internally. One thing of which I became strongly aware was my feminine side; my chronic embarrassment about being sensitive; and now a decision to live out my true nature as it is no matter the cultural expectations and demands. I remain strongly heterosexual though I am giving even more credence to my deeper awareness and will no longer shy away from the depth of inner promptings.

The experience had many more imports—the living connection between my head and my heart, the fusion of the Air and Water Mystery Schools in me (as my Shamanic Astrologer Daniel Giamario has put it). The energy has continued to enrich and uplift me as it resonates in my heart almost continuously. I am grateful.

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  • Dr. Stefan

Saturday September 4th, 2021: 0024 Pe'ahi, Maui, Hawai'i

In the field of trauma work, "freeze" refers to a state of extreme fear of strong that an individual is unable to execute the two most common responses: fight ot flight.

For many years, I have been tortured by my lack of having fought back against my childhood abuses. I have self-flagellated because I did not get revenge on those who harmed me. Then, just a few days ago, I used the word "frozen" in relation to what I had been feeling and my seeming inability to get small tasks done or even get motivated to straighten out the house.

It struck me that the "freeze" reaction is exactly that which I have been immersed for much of my life in extreme situations, though much of my intensity has melted due to war and heavy drug use. I have now been clean 38 + years from cocaine, as I had been going through a period of feeling frozen and unable to participate and I have been lately experiencing some heavy "melting." This has led to my feeling a new and deeper level of healing, even though some of it seems almost regressive (because it feels like really old stuff being released).

I have been researching the "freeze" state and it has lent itself to some incredible insight. I feel less self-blaming and have been taking time to flood myself with forgiveness and self-love, feeling immensely relieved that there is a clear definition for what I have been experiencing; and strong feelings of relief in letting go (sometimes more gently than others) of the energy I have been carrying around it and a legitimate clinical description of the phenomenon and the suffering. I am grateful

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  • Dr. Stefan

Wednesday September 1st, 2021: 2229 Pe'ahi, Maui, Hawai'i

I had a long chat today with one of my best friends on Earth. I had been feeling especially disturbed about the most recent "news" concerning the US withdrawal from Afghanistan. It struck me as so typical that the USG would be pulling out of yet another war that has essentially benefited war-related industries, armament-makers, lobbyists and assorted "friends" of the foregoing. We live, and have lived for at least the last eighty years, in a war-based economy in which the bulk of the economy is directly or indirectly related to the war industry.

The conversation today revolved around how nothing has essentially changed since "America" was colonized, and none of the 361 "treaties" were honored in stealing this land in the name of "independence" and "freedom" whilst all the while creating an increasingly totalitarian, plutocratic society. The most striking feature of all this has been the fact that, for the most part, normal daily activities (the pursuit of money and the acquisition of material riches) just keep on as if nothing else were happenings. It's "business as usual." Nothing stops the onward flow of profit -- not people, not the environment, not future generations.

One of the most onerous and disturbing lines I hear is related to what a great and financially astute President Ronald Reagan was, the man who bribed the Iranians to NOT release the hostages after Jimmy Carter had arranged their release; who instituted taxation of Social Security income; who brought us the Iran-Contra scandal. Oh and by the way,

"Reagan took the deficit from $70 billion to $175 billion. Bush Sr. took it to $300 billion. Clinton got it to zero. Bush Jr. took it from zero to $1.2 trillion. Obama halved it to $600 billion. Trump’s got it back to a trillion." Poynter Institute (07/23/19).

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